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          Give away what I have      I ultimately collected about two hundred classics of rock music but it was getting difficult to buy albums and CDs were very pricey. So I gave away my collection, mostly to some rock musicians from Lithuania. It was nice that they appreciated the albums.1013

        Appreciate others

Appreciate others      As we give, we appreciate what others can and do give, for we may have them give on our behalf.1081

          Take family stories to heart      After the war in Soviet-occupied Lithuania there was not much food and our relatives ate from one bowl and they say the children who ate slower ended up smaller.1071

        Learn what is fair

Learn what is fair      1082

          Realizing the basis for leadership      When I started my business I wanted my colleagues in Lithuania to earn the same as me. But then I realized that I am the one investing, sticking my neck out, running the risk. And they themselves stated that first I need to make money, and then they can.1062

        Invest in giving

Invest in giving      Invest in a culture of giving1083

          Recognizing who is there for me      I went to school in Chicago in part to be closer to my relatives, all of whom lived in the area. Some of them would say how family was much more important than friends because in the end you always counted on family. But that never bore out. Partly, my mother didn't want me to ever have or discuss any money issues with anybody in our extended family. And simply in practice, whenever I discussed my business needs or for loans or leads or mentors, there was no help. Whereas I have good friends who backed me up with significant long term or short term loans. In general, different people helped or not in different ways, as they were able and felt comfortable.1050


Taking      1097

          Ask for help with a formality      During the independence movement, the dollar was worth a lot and I could hire an organizer. I paid him for one or two months but then he needed his labor book to be signed by somebody official. So I suggested that we go the reform movement's office, that they could do that formality, and I was surprised that they refused.1060

          Ask neighbors for donations      In high school we used to raise money for our swim team by having a swimathon. We would go door to door and ask for a penny or more per lap that we swam. We ended up swimming 200 laps. It was good practice asking people for support and quite surprising how supportive people were.1065

          Consider what I need to do myself      And given that I need to pay taxes in both Lithuania and the United States I think that I should do all the paperwork myself because I need to be on top of it myself and there is nobody here who knows both systems anyways.1054


Align      1072


Pursue      1073

          Learning from experience whether something was worthwhile      When I was seven years old my parents gave me seventy five cents and I decided to spend it to go up the Space Needle. It was something I really wanted to do. But then I cried and they asked why, wasn't I happy? And I said, yes, it was good but it wasn't worth seventy five cents. I had thought that it would be a life time experience and then felt disappointed that it wasn't and it was over and I could have gotten some army soldiers instead.1040

          Make myself vulnerable to others' standards of behavior      I would lend money to my friends and have them pay off my own loans, thus hurting my credit rating. I felt that I was helping by letting them make good use of my credit. And that I shouldn't have to be after them as they should be on top of things. But none of them were perfect as to that. I suppose it's important to keep on top of the use of credit if you're going to share it, you have to manage that.1057


Valuation      Giving and Taking are in sync when we Live As If We Were All One Person. We can then substitute for ourselves with Valuation. Such a substitution (much like a model substituting for reality) takes place on four levels:

  • Peace of mind (A decision substitutes for the decision maker.)
  • Motivation (External motivation substitutes for internal motivation.)
  • Money (Compensation substitutes for disparity in contributions.)
  • Humility (Autonomy substitutes for morality)
In the case of "peace of mind", we conflate ourselves with our avatar, which is to say, as decision maker we are one with our decisions. Whereas, in "humility", we divorce ourselves from our avatar. If people truly want to hang themselves, or be fat, drunk, stupid, mean, sick, ugly, filthy, destructive, uptight, hurtful, if they truly want that, then we'll sell them the rope in whatever color they want. (Yes, I get stuck at that point. Perhaps I doubt if they are truly free.)1101

        Peace of mind

Peace of mind      A decision substitutes for the decision maker. They are conflated. Whether there is value.1078

          Noting changes over time      We took in a lady I knew from the streets, helped her quit drinking, and took her in for two years and she worked as a cleaning lady. But then I drove her out because I thought that she should move on, as she was not active in the club's activity with the youth, but just wanted them to stay away so the club would stay clean, and didn't want to do anything more with her life.1037

          Recognizing the impact of external motivation      In junior high school and high school I and my brother played actively in adult tournaments. The stronger tournaments were for money. The money seemed to suggest a very different way of playing that was foreign to me and so I put it out of my mind. It seemed to interfere with the idea of trying to go up against the best players rather than win a prize amongst the weaker players.1063

          Learning what is useful or not for whom      After my freshman year my father arranged that I work the summer as an intern for his employer, Hughes Aircraft. There wasn't much for me to do there where I was assigned so I took the chance to teach myself programming, namely, Fortran. My supervisor wanted me to create a graphing program for him but I didn't have any real guidance and so I ended up focusing on what I thought was the coolest thing I could do, which was making a program for graphing derivatives of trigonometric functions, which was absolutely useless practically. So I made sure to gain from the experience, but it was a waste for my supervisor and they didn't have me back.1005

          Become aware that a formula is at work      When I was in junior high school I used to spend my allowance on Mad magazine. It seemed at first like very intelligent, fresh, stimulating humor and I very much looked forward to it. But over time the formula became apparent. And after a few years I became disappointed and finally lost interest and stopped buying it. I went through the same cycle with Newsweek and other publications, where what originally seemed fresh turned out to be an editorial formula that grew stale with familiarity.1004

          Set a price      I sold my car. It was a practical car, well kept and I tried to get the blue book price. Somebody wanted to buy it but they were hoping I would go down and I refused to. I thought those prices were accurate. So instead I ultimately sold it for quite a bit lower than that, to a friend.1058


Negotiate      Would it make any difference? Negotiate. The motivated Servant provides the rich Served with choices, priorities, contracts.1091

          Give priority to what is most real      My priorities are to make sure that the government has my money, to turn in my declarations, to keep a record of my receipts, and only then to go through the artifice of keeping formal books. I said also that my income comes primarily from the United States and since I had to abide by both systems, I gave priority to the United States.1017

          Recognize the inapplicability of an idea      When I was six years old my parents opened a bank account for my birthday and deposited 10 dollars. And the next year they deposited 10 dollars, too. When my father would go to the bank he would take my book with him and they would stamp the amount of money that I had which reflected the interest I had earned, a few cents and yet it excited me that my money could grow exponentially. However, as I grew older there was inflation, but even more significantly, I realized that the older I grew as a child, the greater amounts of money I dealt with, and so it was completely absurd to save money. Finally, my parents let me take out the money and spend it. I bought an electronics kit that I had wanted. But I realized that 10 dollars had much less significance to a 12 year old than to a 6 year old. That experience made me very skeptical about the value of saving. I felt negative and so I changed my principles.1003

          Recognizing justice in reciprocity      After the war in Soviet-occupied Lithuania our grandparents had very little money yet they still sent packages to their relatives back home including old suits and shoes and cloth. This made a big difference to the families' well being. Years later when my grandmother was sick in bed her nieces were very happy to take turns to come out and take care of her. So on the one hand they were illegal workers but on the other hand it was a beautiful reciprocity.1042

          Accepting our parents' values      I remember as a child we had to weed our garden every so often. It wasn't especially fun. And we weren't rewarded for it. It was just something that we were supposed to do. But there was something nice about doing that work conscientiously and feeling like part of the team, our family.1001

          Appreciate that the situation may change      Also, it's my position that laws are in flux and they may well change in my favor as I get to them.1055